I unintentionally did something crazy. I´ve never been a person who follows the rules or does things as society tells us to, sometimes I do things against them consciously but most of the times I do them without even noticing. I´m going to tell you a story that has to do with the later.
Since I can remember I´ve struggled with self acceptance. Being the way I look the most challenging part, it took me a couple of years and a few visits to the therapist to actually start learning to love my body.
An issue that I constantly had was working out. Everyone in my family is very active and athletic, except for me. Don’t get me wrong, I do love a good sweating session but I rather not do it. Growing up I always felt the pressure of doing some sort of sport, even though that´s not my thing, at all!! And then the whole being healthy and fit became a huge trend on social media … Working out became almost an obsession, because I thought that that was the answer for me to get a “good body”. News flash: It wasn´t.
There are so many factors that affect the way you look, more than just hitting the gym to workout. Working out does help you to be healthy and fit, but you also need to have a good diet, being mentally healthy and loving yourself.
So I guess I unconsciously decided to stop working out. Besides from walking, taking the stairs or going to the gym a couple of times this year I haven’t really worked out. It’s not ideal but it did helped me to understand a couple of things about my body and forced me to accept the way I look.
It all started because I don’t have time, I was in school or working, then I did a semester abroad and when I came back my life was pretty chaotic. This year woulda been the perfect time to start a routine again but I couldn’t find the motivation, I knew that doing it for the sake of getting a “beachbody” was not enough so I just stopped. I stopped because I wanted to workout cause it was healthy, because I enjoyed it. Not because everyone was doing it and I was supposed to do so.
During the past 6 months I have learned more than I thought. I have felt sexier and prettier, I have learned to love my flaws and I know which are my assets, which parts of my body need more attention and which ones don´t. I know when and why my muscles hurt, why me knees crack in the morning and that taking the stairs it’s harder than what it looks. I now understand that looks come from within, that confidence and personality are reflected in the way we walk and our style, and that my body is my house and temple so I need to take care of it.
We often say all of these things but don´t understand them, we often say things but not think about them, we often do things without realizing why… I want to be aware and awake, do the things because I feel and I know they are going to be good for me.
So I guess that I need to start working out again. Because I enjoy it, because I miss boxing, because I want to be strong, because I’m more comfortable in my skin and want my body to look even better than it does now and be able to do all sorts of amazing things.
I hope my rambling made sense.