Confident

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A couple of days ago I was in my Communication class and the professor chose me and another girl to do a little interview, I was the one being interviewed. The whole time I was joking saying that those were my “fifteen minutes of fame” and was overall comfortable with the situation. When the little exercise was over my professor laugh and called me a diva as an insult. Why? Because I was confident? Or maybe because I was comfortable and the other girl looked nervous?

For me being called a diva, a bitch or bossy is not new. For as long as I can remember I´ve been called those names for two reasons: 1. being unapologetic about myself, and 2. for getting what I want because I work towards it. It´s sad to think that so many girls have to go through the same situation, and many of them will feel discouraged because of this. I’m 23 and sometimes I still get a little down from this kind of comments, but I don´t let that control the way I feel for the rest of the day.

I talked to my mom about what happened and she just said something like “that guy is crazy, he doesn’t know what he´s talking about”. I let it go. Later that day we were in the car and out of nowhere she turns to me and we had a conversation that went a pretty much like this:

Mom: Do you know why I love you so much?

Me: Because I’m your daughter?

Mom: But besides that…

Me: (jokingly) Because I’m smart, and beautiful and all around perfect?

Mom: (laughing) Well yes, but also because you’re confident.

Me? Confident? I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. I was thinking of how I’ve been struggling for so long with accepting my body and with eating habits, I’ve been doubting of my every move and wondering what would other people thought for so long that it’s almost a second nature for me to think that I’m not good enough. She had to be wrong. But then I stopped. What if she was right? Have I reached that key moment in my life where I could call myself confident? I thought of the events of that morning and how I reacted, I thought of all the past months and how I’ve been feeling… I AM CONFIDENT!!

I realized being confident doesn´t mean being happy all the time or never doubting of the things you do or caring about what others think about you. Being confident means being through all of those things and still love yourself, it means being called a diva/bossy/bitch and let it go cause you know who you are. Being confident means being able to get up, to work hard, to get what you want, to go after your dreams, to say what you think, to express your feelings, to wear what you like and rock it, it means to have fun, to be yourself and have fun. It´s a work in progress and every day it´s a challenge and an opportunity to be better, it’s not easy but it’s worth it. I´m not perfect and that’s perfectly ok.

And by the way, quoting Beyonce: “Diva is a female version of a hustler”, and I don’t see what´s wrong with it.

XO

Mary

 

 

 

 

 

 

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